Hi, Lovelies.
Getting rejected sucks, but it’s just something that comes with being a writer. And let’s be honest; life. As a college student, I probably would have gotten rejected by colleges if I had bothered applying for others. I’ve got rejected from so many scholarships, which wasn’t hurtful as much as disappointing because it meant that I didn’t get free money. It was the same with job applications. I’d get rejected from them, slightly question my worth, but ultimately just be a little disappointed because that meant I had to keep applying.
But I’ve got to tell you, your creative pieces getting rejected sucks. Because creative pieces are personal. These are your babies. You’ve slaved over them, rewrite them a thousand times, and begrudgingly show them to the world. Only to have the world tear them apart, pick apart every flaw.
It hurts so much because these creative pieces feel like a part of you. It feels like when they pick apart your creative piece, they are really picking apart you. Telling you, you’re not good enough. Telling you that you have no talent. Telling you to give up. But that’s not true.
However, getting rejected is part of being a writer. Everybody is like “JK Rowling got rejected 12 times”. That’s weak. Most authors get rejected a hundred times before somebody takes a chance on them. And even then, there is going to be a constant rejection throughout your writing or artistic career. Rejection, no matter how much it sucks, is a part of life.
Wanting to be a Writer and not wanting to be rejected is wanting to be a Boxer and not wanting to be punched.
~ David Barr Kirtley
So here’s how I deal with rejection.
Embrace Rejection
When I first get rejected, I allow myself to feel sucky. This sounds weird, but my Mom has always told me to feel my emotions. I have a tendency to push down my emotions and then I erupt on others. It’s better to just feel them. It’s gonna suck when you get rejected. You’ll be mad and indignant or just question your worth. It’s important to feel it. Allow yourself to be sad, curl up on your bed, watch a comfort movie or show, eat some sweets.
The key is that you’re only allowed to do this for one day max. The next day, you have to get up, get back to work, resubmit, write more, create more.
Now as you get more used to rejection and recognize that it’s not really about you, don’t wallow for more than like an hour. But the first couple of times, I’ll allow you to mope for a day, no more, certainly less if you can.
Get Back to It
You ever hear the expression “Get back on the horse right away” That’s because if you don’t, you make the fall worse in your head. Eventually, you convince yourself that it’s better to just not get back on the horse. Don’t do that. Get back to writing. Make something new or edit what has been rejected. And then submit your work somewhere else or submit something new to the same place.
It doesn’t really matter. The important part is that you continue to write, create, and submit.
More Tips
I didn’t realize the process was so short. But here’s a couple more tips on handling rejection if you’re still struggling.
Realize that it isn’t about you. Writing and creative works are so subjective. What one person likes can be hated by another person. Look at literally any piece of art, even one done by someone is considered a master. Someone somewhere hates that piece for some reason or another. Often it’s not about you, it just doesn’t vibe for that person. Submit it somewhere else and maybe someone will like it.
Take feedback. Criticism is so hard to take. It’s almost as hard as rejection. However, criticism gives you a specific tangible thing that you can change. I like to think, it softens the blow almost because not only do you have a reason for rejection, but you also have a chance to fix it.
We are all works in progress. Writing and art is an ongoing process that’ll continue throughout our lives. It’s important to be able to take criticism, see flaws, and work to change them. However, at the same time, stay true to you. Take criticism if it is valid and changeable. But if it interferes with your vision or isn’t true to that piece at all, just let it go.
Final Thoughts
Rejection isn’t the end. It’s really just the beginning. I would almost say be proud of your rejections. They are proof that you tried. You wrote or created something and were brave enough to send it out in the world. That itself is a feat. I’ve heard of writers who keep their rejection slips or pin them up. It’s almost like a trophy. I did that. It may not have worked, but you did it anyway.
So keep creating, Lovelies. Keep getting rejected because one day, your rejection becomes your success story.
