Hi, Lovelies.
It’s been a rough couple of days. I had planned on posting something else, but I didn’t finish. And I considered not posting anything, but I thought I should share how I’m feeling.
I’m feeling terrible. Like the demons are rising up inside me. The shadows lengthen, threatening to consume me. The spiders in my brain spin a web of lies.
The voices whisper that I would be better off dead. I know that’s not true, but sometimes the voices get so loud. They tell me that I’m not enough, that I don’t deserve to be on this earth, that I’m a failure, and would be better off dead. It’s not that I want to die. It’s that sometimes death sounds like a better option than all the pain I’m in.
I do love my life. It’s part of the meaning of this blog. Life, Love, & Literature was a reminder to myself that life is worth living. That even when the voices get loud, that this too shall pass. It may pass like a kidney stone, but it’ll pass.
So what do I do when this happens? I cry for one. My mom, a therapist, believes in sitting in our feelings and accepting them. So I do. But mostly, I drown the voices out either by someone else’s voice, like my bestie’s or my Mom’s or I blare my music and scream at the universe through the lyrics.
So here’s my sad playlist.
- Hold On – Chord Overstreet
- Piece by Piece – Kelly Clarkson
- Tear it Down – Michael Sanzone
- Waves – Dean Lewis
- Let You Down – NF
- Home is Where the Hurt is – The Script
- Not Right Now – Jason Gray
- Little Do You Know – Alex & Sierra
- Be Alright – Dean Lewis
- What Love Really Means – JJ Heller
- Worn – Tenth Avenue North
- Why God – Austin French
- Blessings – Laura Story
- God Only Knows – For King & Country
- Hold On To You – Justice Possas, Izzy Marie
These are just some of the songs on my sad playlist, but I know that these songs have saved my life. They remind me that I’m not alone, that it gets better, and that it’s okay to feel my pain.
If anyone out there is feeling something similar, talk to someone, blare some music, and remind yourself that life is worth living. Because it is. And don’t let the voices convince you otherwise.
You were given this life because you are strong enough to live it.
~ Anonymous
